My beloved grandpa, mum's daddy, had just passed away this evening, at his age of almost 90. I can't help with my tears when I saw my mum cried. Actually, I had been asking myself once that would I cry if any of my grandparents leave? My answer was NO. Actually the bonding between grandparents and me is not that strong. From the day i born, the only chance to meet my grandparents are only during the few days of chinese new year. My family stayed in other town. You know, small kids will never like to chit chatting with the old folks. At most, got the ang pau, then greet 'gong hei fat choi', told what grade i had in school, then continue tv-ing. I was a cool kid, I did not talk much with my relatives, even the cousins also never ask me to join their games. When i grew older, my family moved back to hometown when i was primary 3 to primary 6. Still, i never appreciated the time having with them. The memories that kept in my mind, was that my grandpa liked to tell his personal experience. He experienced the World War 2, how he migrated from hongkong to borneo, how he learned words without schooling, or rather just went for 3 days of primary school, how he learned malay to have granted of the permanent residential identity during the formation of malaysia, how he suffered during the war, how he got lost with the brothers and sisters then reunited together after some time. It was interesting to listen tp his stories. But 4 years staying in hometown was too short. He grew old very quickly. It was like he could walk normally the previous year, but just in one year time, he needed a stick to support upon walking. He liked to see my sisters and i doing our homework. He came and comment on our handwriting. I remember, he told me my handwriting was too light, meaning, i am not a practical person, i was not determined enough, i might get bad influenced very easily. He told me to beware of that. I keep his words until now. I left my hometown after staying 4 years there, since then, he started to ask my grandma about the status of my dad, my mum, and we 3 sisters. He will ask like where is ah keong? where is ah khyun? every day. Sometimes he just got fooled by my uncle or my grandma by answering his question with some silly things. Luckily, my family went back to visit him during this chinese new year. But he cant recognise me anymore, he called me with my aunt's name, the aunt where we both really look alike. Today, before dinner, he went to toilet, he fell down, ambulance came, doctor certified, ambulance did not even want to send him to the hospital. His death is already certified. 630pm. All of a sudden. I thought i will never cry. But when things come all in a sudden, you cant even afford a tear that wanna fall. Luckily, he went off without any chronic disease. Luckily he went of peacefully without worries. Just unluckily, 3 of his sons and daughter were not by his side at the time. None of his grandsons and granddaughters were there too. I am so sorry. I cant even have the chance to meet him for the one last time. I cant even do something for him for the last time.
Life is short. Time is too little.
I hope my grandma can stay stronger than before. Same to my mum too.
Gonggong, may you rest in peace with the care and blessing from god. You live in our hearts always.
wake me up when october ends.
No comments:
Post a Comment